myownwarriorsfandomcom-20200213-history
The Apprentice's Quest: The Spoofening
Jayfeather: All Mothwing is gonna do is get a nice nap! :Mothwing: What is this bigoted blasphemy? :Alderkit: Are we never going to mention the fact that I have two dead siblings? :Sparkkit: Alderkit! We're going to be apprentices, aren't you excited? :Alderkit: Kind of... What if we have to take some sort of exam? :Sparkkit: Haven't you been paying attention for the last half a year? :Alderkit: StarClan, no. I'm not going to be a warrior. :Sparkkit: What? :Squirrelflight: I'm so proud of you two! :Bramblestar: As am I, your father. Yep. Your father! Your fATHER :Sparkkit: What's dad going on about? :Bramblestar: I have daddy issues. :Ivypool: My bets are on Sparkkit becoming the next leader. :Brightheart: What happened to me getting an apprentice, Bramblestar? :Bramblestar: Do you really want another apprentice-turned-medicine cat? :Cherryfall: We're going to have so much fun, Sparkpaw! :Molewhisker: Have you ever considered that time is made up and gender is a social construct? :Sparkpaw: Isn't hunting so fun? :Alderpaw: Yeah, sure. :Sparkpaw: I've caught so much prey so far! Cherryfall said I did amazingly! :Alderpaw: Say I'm useless already. :Molewhisker: *whispers* Hey Cherr, is your apprentice on steroids? :Cherryfall: *also whispers* She's Firestar's kin, it's basically a part of the Warrior Code by now. :Alderpaw: All these flavours, and you choose to be salty. :Alderpaw: It's been a half-moon of training, and I still haven't caught anything. :Sparkpaw: Jesus Firestar, you are useless. :Sparkpaw: It's our first gathering, Alderpaw! :Alderpaw: I'm pretty sure there are like at least five senior warriors who have never been to a gathering before. :Molewhisker: Some day, Cherryfall and I will take you out hunting at night. :Sparkpaw: What are those? :Cherryfall: I don't appreciate you usage of old memes. :Sparkpaw: ... :Alderpaw: ... :Cherryfall: Those are fireflies. :Squirrelflight: ALDERPAW! SPARKPAW! GET OVER HERE! :Sparkpaw: Killjoy. :Alderpaw: I hate my life. :Cherryfall: I can introduce you to some cats, if you want! :Sparkpaw: Nah, we're good. :Alderpaw: Sparkpaw, do you know the definition of social anxiety? :Sparkpaw: Look, ShadowClanners! I'm sure this won't backfire in any way whatsoever! :Needlepaw: Hi, these are my siblings who you don't care about and will never see again. :Sparkpaw: We're from ThunderClan! :Needlepaw: Oh, so you guys like to boss around the other Clans? :Sparkpaw: No! :Alderpaw: Yeah. :Beepaw: Who are you? :Alderpaw: The voice of reason. :Onestar: Crowfeather led a patrol to keep an eye on them... :Sparkpaw: They have to mention him, or he'll become irrelevant. :cats at the Gathering: ALDERPAW! SPARKPAW! :Alderpaw: I crave the sweet embrace of death. :Sparkpaw: This is what fame feels like, bro! :Needlepaw: ShadowClan has lots of apprentices, Rowanstar doesn't know what to do with them! :Sparkpaw: That's nice, sweetheart. :Rowanstar: The medicine cats will now speak on behalf of their Clans. :Alderpaw: That's Littleclous from ShadowClan. :Sparkpaw: And that's Kestrelflight of WindClan. :Needlepaw: Oh congrats, you recognized some of the most important cats in the Clans! :Sparkpaw: There's no need to be such a sourpuss. :Kestrelflight: Firestar spoke to us first. :Needlepaw: Of-f**king-course. :Firestar: *Up in StarClan* Congratulations, you played yourself. :Kestrelflight: EMBRACE WHAT YOU FIND IN THE SHADOWS, BIATCHeS :Alderpaw: (intense feelings of self-doubt and premonition) :Random Cat Numero Uno: Maybe it's ShadowClan? :Ratscar: if you ask me, what should be embraced is a bit more respect for senior warriors. :Beepaw: OO DAMN BOI HE SAVAGE AS FUDGE :Cloudtail: (stands up from beside Whitewing and Brightheart) Hey guys I have a family remember :Sparkpaw: Maybe we'll find the shadowy thing and save ThunderClan! :Alderpaw: Foreshadowing? :Alderpaw: My aunt is staring at me and I feel violated. :Molewhisker: You're useless. :Alderpaw: I already suffer from crippling self-esteem issues. :Molewhisker: Let's hunt in a different part of the forest. Maybe you'll do better without Sparkpaw. :Alderpaw: Fat chance, I can't do anything right! :Molewhisker: Everyone sucks and you should feel bad. :Bramblestar: My den for a word, please, Molewhisker. :Molewhisker: Of course. Alderpaw, you can have something to eat. :Sparkpaw: Here, share my thrush. :Alderpaw: I am surrounded by others who care about me but yet I feel so empty inside. :Alderpaw: Oh no, they're talking about me! :Bramblestar: You have a new destiny: you will become a medicine cat apprentice. :Alderpaw: Ah geez! tbc! thanks for all the comments!